The Universe’s Gift

First let me start off by saying that the amount of people that visited my first blog entry was incredible! And receiving any likes or comments surpassed my expectations and made me more excited for my newly started blogging journey. -Thank you for the encouragement

Second, let’s get started with my second blog entry! I had been popping around in some people’s blogs reading their entries, and I came across a beautiful poem, I later found out that her father had written it for her in response to a poem she had written prior. This is what inspired this blog entry;

I’ve never had an awesome relationship with my dad. In fact, I don’t really have much of a relationship with him at all. He was in and out of prison majority of my life… actually that’s an exaggeration now at 22 years old. But for a 12 year old kid, 8 1/2+ years did feel like the majority of my life. So when I read this beautiful poem I couldn’t help but feel a wave of envy roll over me.  Every word in that poem evoked a feeling of love. And that’s a love I’ll never know or experience. Although I stayed rock-hard strong about the whole situation while growing up, I’d say the last 4, 5 years of my life, it has began to take a toll on me. I didn’t realize how real daddy issues truly were until this year. I think this moment hit me hardest when I listened to John Mayer’s song, Daughters on repeat for a good 4 hours while crying. The lyrics: “Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made” hit me harder than I’d ever been hit before. Did I really have daddy issues, was I one of those girls? The guilt crept over me. I didn’t want to accept the fact that the lack of a father figure in my life truly did play a part in who I became, and the woman I am today. But through this self-struggle, after that period of not being comfortable with myself, I found something else out. Yes his actions did affect me, and yes  I did have to accept them and be ashamed of who I was, but I turned out to be one bad a** person!! I have a heart of gold, though I know how to keep it guarded. It made me a smarter kid, I learned to fend for myself earlier in life than most. And most importantly, it made me look forward to having my own family more than anything in life. I always make sure to look for the qualities of a good father in any man I date. Its a dream of mine to raise a kid, and them have a loving father, much like the fellow blogger who’s post I read.

So- To my father, thank you for making me uncomfortable and uneasy with myself, you made  me evolve much  faster and smarter. I am a stronger woman because of you. And to my fellow blogger, thank you for sharing that piece. Cherish your father, appreciate and love him. A DAD is something to hold onto forever. He was personally chosen for you, and given to you as a gift from the the universe.

Here is the link to the original poem: Original Poem

Much Love, Tate